Expectations are defined as “a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future”. We usually set expectations for all areas of our life, even something as simple as what we expect our scrambled eggs from the local diner to be like. Expectations are important things to have in life…we expect basic things such as respect, motivation, happiness, trust, health, and love. However, expectations can be tied to unwanted feelings as well…defeat, disappointment, and resentment. When we allow our expectations to exceed our actions we can end up disappointing ourselves. Managing our exceptions and creating ways of making sure those expectations are met is critical to avoiding those disappointing feelings.
At the beginning of our transition into living full-time in our RV, I definitely had a million exceptions. Of how the trips would go, what we would see, and how our experiences would unfold. Very soon I began to realize that if my exceptions were too high, or based somewhere outside of reality, frustration would set in and the fun would disappear.
This can happen not only when you make a move or start something new. When we think about our lives we are continuously setting exceptions, big and small, in every area of life. Our incomes, what our home looks and feels like, and the car we drive, are basically an overall expectation of the aesthetic of who we are or want to be. Unfortunately, our exceptions do not always become a reality, and this can make us feel resentful of where we are and what we have, or don’t have.
In the day and age of manifesting and focusing on the law of attraction, there is usually a key objective that tends to get left out. The one thing we try to shortcut out of everything we do is usually the work! If you are not taking the actions needed to achieve your goals, they will never be accomplished. Same thing with expectations. If you go to a restaurant with a one-star rating expecting to have the best meal of your life, and your food comes out with hair in it and is served on dirty plates, your expectations exceeded the work you put into picking out a well-rated restaurant.
Yes, you can focus on a thing, direct your energy toward it, and say a little prayer, but also do the work! Expecting something to happen because you believe you deserve it or you are a good person is not going to cut it. If there are things you desire, keep your eyes on the prize, remind yourself of it daily or even multiple times a day, but also create a legitimate game plan that you can execute.
When people talk about managing their exceptions it usually seems like it is coming from a cranky, cynical old man who didn’t get what he wanted out of life and is actually just telling you to lower your exceptions so that you can never be disappointed. Managing is about making changes that will aid in moving you forward. Expect the best, the unbelievable, and set that bar high, but know that you are going to have to do the work to make sure you are not let down.
I believe we are truly able to have anything we dream of in this life. There is enough money, enough houses, enough cars, enough anything…. if you can dream it you can have it! But if you expect to be in a professional rock band in 6 months and you have never picked up an instrument and you can’t sing, your expectations are going to be shattered real quick. Where most people would give up at this point, should instead be a chance to change that defeatist narrative and continue forward, while making necessary tweaks. For instance, an alternative to this could be managing a professional rock band, instead of playing in one. When people fail or get told no, they usually give up. Managing your exceptions can be about owning a willingness to adapt, not just full-on giving up. When the world or people tell you no, pivot!
All in all, if you’re setting your entire existence of happiness on an expectation without giving it a good reason to succeed you are going to end up disappointed. Managing your expectations always feels like being told you have to lower the bar. It is not about lowering the bar, you should higher the bar and in conjunction get working. Make a plan, a list of actions you can take, research, learn, stay focused, and don’t let failure stop you. Expectations can excite us and push us to grow, just remember that certain things are out of our control and that the only thing we can always control is how we react to situations. So get back up, and try again!
Living full-time in our RV makes it feel like exceptions are always being set on us by ourselves and others—what people expect us to see, how long we should be living like this, where we should be going, and so on. When we visit new places we of course have expectations, but usually, we are happily surprised, and 9 times out of 10 end up feeling more fulfilled from the place than we had expected. This is because we research, we learn and we set up things to do that we know we are going to enjoy- taking action. What we can’t plan for are the people we end up meeting and the organic flow of life that always makes every place so lovely. Life will not always take you where you planned on going, but it could bring you somewhere better! So be open to the flow, be vocal about your goals and manage your expectations accordingly!
